Who sets the standard of beauty? Social media? Magazine models? I just know that growing up, if you weren't white or really light, a size ZERO, with blonde hair and big boobs, you did not fit the description. Now days, women are paying thousands of dollars to create bigger butts, darker skin, fuller lips; still not satisfied and happy with God given looks. So, at what point do we as women become confident enough to live in the skin we were given?
As a black woman I can honestly say, the description of beauty never seemed to fit me until I began to love me from within, and that wasn't until my later 30's. Growing up, I knew I wasn't an ugly girl, even though I was treated like the ugly duckling; but I never knew I was pretty either. I wasn't the light skinned black girl, with "good hair", hell it wasn't long, it was kinky, and dry, and I got teased about it! At one point I even had a jeri curl and Lord knows, that was awful! The boys didn't like me, the girls didn't want to be my friend, and I was never labeled the "pretty one" in a group setting. I would hear boys talk about girls they were crushing on and say things like " she's light skinned with good hair", and girls say things like "we don't hang with nappy heads". Because of these types of incidents, I never felt like I was a part of, I never felt wanted, and I never felt pretty. I didn't belong; or so I thought.
When you enter young adulthood never realizing your own beauty, that trickles over into relationships you begin to form. How you view yourself, is how you will carry yourself in these times. If you have no self-value, you will conduct yourself as such. If you have low self-esteem, it will show in your actions. Having self-confidence though, will also radiate all over you! The question is, how do you have self-esteem when you don't fit the description; and who's damn description is it anyway!
How do you reprogram the mindset of low self-esteem? How do rewire an entire life span of corrupted beauty standards, and become confident enough to erase those standards, and create your own? Here's how......
Erase literally EVERYTHING you've ever learned beauty to be and give it a new description! What describes YOU? Because that's what beauty is. Whatever is looking back at you in the mirror is THE only standard of beauty you need to go by. Look at how you treat people, look at how you love people, think about the impression that you leave other people's life; now ask yourself, "is that beauty?" Understand that God made you unlike anyone else. He gave you your eyes, your smile, so what if it's a little crooked. He gave you the body suited for only you. We as women have to stop looking at others wishing we looked like them, and look in the mirror and realize how many wished they looked like someone else. Now think about how sad that is. What if we all just embraced us though? What if we embraced the fact that nobody else can be us like we can be ourselves? What does it mean to you to be free in coveting the very essence of YOU? That's freedom.
It's easy to look at a woman fully dressed and think her body is all together, her skin is flawless, her hair is laid; but what if that woman wishes she didn't have stretch marks, had a little cellulite, wore spank or a shaper under her clothes, hated the acne she's covering, and wouldn't leave the house without a wig? What you think is "all together", is her trying to create what we've allowed society to set as our standard of beauty.
Confidence. Sounds just like "sexy" to me. You ever see a heavy set woman walk into a room and command the crowd; strutting so effortlessly, smiling, speaking, owning her presence, and demanding your attention? It's confidence. Confidence in knowing that nobody else can bring to the table what she brings...herself. Meanwhile, somewhere in that room is an insecure woman, souped up to fit all the standards of beauty, wondering why a single man hasn't even noticed her. That...is....confidence. Owning you, because nobody else can take that from you.
Ladies, I invite you to take this journey of rediscovering your own standard of beauty, learning to accept the beauty that is within you, and becoming confident in you just the way you are. After all, sex appeal is what every woman desires to posses, even if we are the only one to find ourselves sexy. Imagine a community of women, coming together for support, empowerment, and love, all working toward the same goal of becoming confident in the skin we're in; the true meaning of bringing sexy BACK! Confidence is the new sexy!
Course Coming Soon!
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